Have you ever noticed the seamless communication that exisits between some happy couples? The way two people know each other so well they can finish each other's sentences?
My husband and I don't have that sort of rapport at all. In fact, most of the time we have no clue what the other of us is thinking, even after we come right out and say it.
For instance, when I say, "I love crocheting; it makes my heart burn with happiness!" Dan hears, "Better pick up some Maalox at the drugstore."
I have to admit, though, that I sometimes blame Dan for not getting it when I expect him to read my mind. He can repeat back exactly what I said to him, and later that evening, still end up being wrong. For example:
Me: Don't bother mentioning the sweater I just finished; I know it's not very good.
Dan: OK, Dear.
Me (later that evening): I can't believe you didn't compliment me on my new sweater. I worked on it for weeks!
Dan: But you told me not to.
Me: Well, you could have said SOMETHING!
A recent university study revealed the difference between how men and women talk. Men just say what they mean. Women use nuance, implication and subtext.
Guys don't get subtext. Dan and I could be shopping together, and I could mention a fabulous carved wooden crochet hook we just passed one aisle over. This would be his cue to buy the hook and present it to me with flourish and fanfare. But alas, if I want something, I have to tell him.
Me: Why do I need to TELL you what I want?
Dan: Because then I would know!
Dan read somewhere that most women just want an understanding ear to listen and sympathize. I think sometimes, to avoid arguing, he just nods and agrees. Trying to clarify things just leads to trouble.
Me: Have you been listening?
Dan: Of course.
Me: What did I just say?
Dan: Uh, that you want me to buy some Maalox?